Stage one: The optimism, the hope.
You’re walking on a cloud, smiling at children, painting rainbows, baking friendship cookies and riding your unicorn into the sunset. It’s a new year, it’s a new you! The horror of last year has been left behind. Now you can barely even remember getting asked to leave your local nightclub after vomiting on that girl who’s name you don’t know! Nah, it’s all a distant memory because this year is gonna be different. THIS is your year! Think of all the A+s you’ll get! Think of all the new friends you’ll make! Think of how social you’ll be! You’ll finally start reading the books on your bucket list an being more adventurous.
Stage 2: Falling a little behind.
Yesterday you were on top of the world and you thought you’d feel the same today but it’s gotten off to a slower start. You don’t really feel like starting the bucket list today but maybe tomorrow. You’re still full of hope and optimism but first you just need a little rest, besides rest is good for your health anyways!
Stage 3: The dark days.
You haven’t showered in four or so days and you’ve had to get off the sofa a grand total of three times to yell at those bratty kids being loud outside. Your friends keep texting you to come out, those annoying bastards. Pushy as heck. Why even bother having friends? All they do is hassle you and take up emotional energy. Why were you even dumb enough in the first place to make friends? Seems so stupid now. You’ve had eight bowls of cereal already today and your hair looks like it’s masked in vegetable oil. Screw that though, screw hygiene, screw society, screw everything. You don’t have the attention span to read books either! Not when there are back to back episodes of Jerry Springer on.
Stage 4: Full circle.
Next thing you know you’re being asked to leave your local nightclub for vomming on that random girl.